Remembrance
by orangepencils
Summary: In the society in which he lived in, what he had done was considered capital offence, the greatest sin and irreparable damage. He hadn't killed anyone, he hadn't destroyed property; he had simply fallen in love with the wrong person. AU, human names used.


**Remembrance**

**286**

**This story was inspired by BA which is in turn, inspired by COLT "Breathe Again". The things that one COLT chapter has spawned!**

**Well, I was in the midst of writing a BA chapter when I had this vision for this little fellow. This is what it turned into.**

**Disclaimer: It's AU, it's slightly sad… you may hate me at the end. Nobody dies so don't worry.**

Remembrance

In the society in which he lived in, what he had done was considered capital offence, the greatest sin and irreparable damage. He hadn't killed anyone, he hadn't destroyed property; he had simply fallen in love with the wrong person.

He had grown up with Matthew Williams, the quiet boy from apartment 3B.1 from an early age. He had lived in the other building across the street and they had met one evening when he had been seven and Matthew five. An unlikely friendship had been struck between them in the courtyard of the buildings. They had both gone to the same grade school and then transferred to the same high school.

It had been during those years that their friendship had turned to something more. They had both awkwardly admitted to liking each other in secret since their town wouldn't approve of this behaviour and from there, they had snuck out for late night meetings together.

They had discovered each other, experimented together, and had been each other's first in so many ways. Their first time had been in a hay shed by a farm close to where they lived. It had been towards the end of high school and as much as they both would have wanted to spend the entire night together, they both knew they had to be home before curfew.

What they had created was something special that only they could know about. They had managed to keep their secret buried and their love for each other alive until the end of high school and all through out college. He had gone into marketing while Matthew had become an architect.

Their little charade had worked perfectly and he had been foolish enough to think that maybe they would be able to keep it up until the end of time, but he had been wrong, oh so wrong.

They had been discovered one evening, in a shed, by the owner of the building. It hadn't been so much the fact that they had been found in the shed together that had set the whole thing off, but their compromising position, the scattered clothes and Matthew arching his back into him.

The owner had closed the door abruptly and left. They had both dressed quickly after that and returned to their separate rooms hoping that nothing would happen. If only they could have been so lucky.

The next time he had seen Matthew, it had been two days after the incident, in a prison cell. He had been brought in for questioning and he had happened to walk by the cell in which they were keeping Matthew. His eyes had widened when he had seen the younger man's bruised body and bloody lip. Something had died inside of him at that moment. He didn't want to see the only man he had ever loved get hurt.

He had been brought into a different cell and had gotten his fair share of beating as well, but he didn't mind, he deserved it. Eventually, they had been tried for their crimes and found guilty. The penalty for that was execution. He had begged them to spare Matthew's life, but they hadn't listened to him.

He had feared for the worst, but luckily, he had been able to contact his younger brother who worked for the government. His brother had lobbied for their case and in the end, the charges had been changed. They were still guilty, but their lives were being spared.

However, the new penalty was perhaps just as bad.

One of them had to have his memory erased while the other would be forever cursed to remember everything that had happened. Matthew had wanted to be the one stuck remembering, but he hadn't wanted to hear a word of it. He decided that he would live with the memories and give Matthew a new chance at life. The younger man had tried to counter argue, but he hadn't let him. The papers got signed and the following day, he had watched as Matthew had been brought in for the procedure.

His hell had just started.

The treatment was gradual and he could see how Matthew slowly started forgetting him. They were released from prison and they were able to go back to their apartments. With each passing day, a little bit more of him withered as it eventually got to the point where Matthew no longer recognized him.

He would wave at the younger man and Matthew would wave back only because it was the polite thing to do. It broke his heart to see his friendship and love for Matthew gone like this, but at least Matthew was alive and his dearest friend had a chance to start over.

It eventually came to that. Over the years, he watched as Matthew slowly rebuilt his life. He was always there to help the younger man out with trivial little things like painting the shed, or shovelling snow. He stayed close to make sure that Matthew would be alright and at the same time, it allowed him to see the other man.

He continued being by Matthew's side from afar even when the other found himself a wife. She was a pretty little thing and was always willing to help. As much as he would have liked to say that he hated her, he couldn't because she was truly a kind woman and she was always there for Matthew.

He would have to content himself to watch from a distance and love only in his heart. He sometimes wondered what would have happened if he had been the one to get his memories erased, if Matthew would have done the same thing for him. Deep down he knew the answer, knew that Matthew would have done the same, but he still thought about it at nights when it got too much for him to handle.

By now, the treatment was complete and Matthew was at a happy place with his life. He was now stuck with only observing from a distance and never being acknowledged. He had almost become invisible to the one who had made his heart beat faster. Matthew and his pretty little wife would walk by past him, arm in arm, laughter in their eyes, and they would simply go on their way, not bothering to stop by him, not seeing him, not knowing him. He would allow a sad smile to come to his face as he would recall a time when that laugh had been directed at him, that arm resting alongside his.

He was Gilbert. He was a man whose only crime had been to fall in love with another man in a society that did not tolerate that. He had made the ultimate sacrifice and given his lover a second chance at life. His punishment had been to be forgotten, but he remembered.

**OWARI**

**Tissues are on your left. Please don't hate me… I'm actually quite pleased with this one. The ending, I love it! **

**Reviews, no matter how short, even if they are anonymous, mean a lot to me and let me know that my writing brings emotions to you readers out there. I see you, the ones who only favourite, the ones who add me to alert, don't think I don't. Even if it's just an exclamation point, it warms my heart.**

**Started writing: May 24****th**** 2010, 12:33pm**

**Finished writing: May 24****th**** 2010, 3:49pm**

**Started typing: June 2****nd**** 2010, 12:28pm**

**Finished typing: June 2****nd**** 2010, 12:59pm**


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